Friday, November 13, 2009

Recovering from surgery

Excuse the slow typing, had carpal tunnel surgery yesterday.

A friend wrote to ask how it came out -- figured I'd post it here to save time and duplication:

Got home too late to stack much wood, so just curled up in the fetal position (felt more like fecal position -- still does) and whimpered myself to sleep. Previous hand surgeries weren't too bad, but it seems that Medicare will not spring for scalpels any more. They opted for sharing a used cuisinart. Haven't seen one of those at a garage sale lately -- now I know why.

Anesthesia was a real treat! They had this cross-eyed midget with a big wooden mallet. That's why my knee is sore too (had to walk to the OR after a wheel fell off the old Giant shopping cart they were using for a gurney, and he got me just as I stumbled through the door). I asked if he had any ID, and he mumbled something about "Badges? We don' need no steenkeeng badges!"

Next thing I know, I'm sharing an IV tower with some manic depressive typewriter salesman in the recovery room, with the original Frau Bleucher offering me a cup of foofoo coffee, while two of the Andrews Sisters sang Chattanooga Shoeshine Boy, accompanied by the third sister on the same cuisinart the doc had used on my hand. Then I woke up and watched a video on roughage, while trying to remember what real coffee tasted like.

By this time Vern had fixed the wheel, so I got a ride back to the mustering-out area, got dressed, and waited for Dorie to find the car in all that construction. Had a nice chat with the nurse's aide who wheeled me out to the entrance, after we got done laughing over the sticking right front wheel on the wheelchair; watch for the scrape marks along the left side of the hallway next time you go in that way. Anyway, she's home for the holidays from welding school -- her minors are in parapsychology and raising champion tarantulas -- and she really likes her job! I just hope she gets over that rash before having to wear a helmet 8 hours a day.

Ooops! Gotta run to the john and figure out how to work this belt buckle one-handed before I wet myself again.

1 comment:

  1. Loved your hospital story! Hope you heal quickly. Many of my friends have had that surgery and it's no fun.

    BTW, I subscribe to your blog, but nothing has shown up on my dashboard for a month. I just dropped in to see if you had stopped writing and was surprised to see several entries since that time.

    Guess I better check some of the other blogs I read to see if the same thing is happening.